The Holder of Fun-Facts

''Note: This is a satire of the Holders series.''

The "Pasta"

The Holder of Fun-Facts

In any videogame store in South-Eastern America, go to a cashier and ask to see the one who calls herself "The Holder of Fun-Facts". Should a look of quiet annoyance cross their face, you are in the right place. Should it not, then you'll probably be killed like in all the other holders crap.
The cashier will take you to the PS3 section. There, you will see a swizzle-stick with hair perusing the survival horror games. Ask her one question and one question alone: "''Tell me a story about giant pigs''" (yeah, it sounds weird, but it's like code or some shit). Be forewarned, if you should ask her about anything else, then you'll get to hear all sorts of "Fun-facts" about that particular subject until the end of time.
She will launch into this long, drawn out story that changes every time. If you try to walk away at any point in her monologue, then monsters the likes of which only H. P. Lovecraft could conceive will eat you.
When she finishes her tale, you are free to leave if you like (and I wouldn't blame you if you did). However, if you are a ballsy son of a bitch, you may ask her one more question: "''How do I get the Oghma Infinium''?".
She will hand you a book that looks a lot like the creepy devil book from "''Evil Dead''". You now have all the "fun-facts" ever. Use them wisley.
This book is object number 3u295y3498 out of higher-than-I-can-count. Don't let 'em come together. Or do. I don't care.